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Deficiencies

by James Pagliaro

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1.
Feel my life implode, with the strength of a thousand blows and all I know, life will never be the same. There's none to blame, when I hear you scream my name. Feel my life return, from a place that none should go, there's peace, there's faith, so do not be afraid. Feel this feeling, know this knowing, to trust that all is on the level. There's gotta be another way. Cling to hands you hold, they're beacons in the cold, your heart will heal and the wounds will be concealed. There's none to blame, when I hear you say my name. When I see you, I close my eyes and I can't be alone. Truth is, when I open my eyes, I see that you've flown. To trust that the world is on the level.
2.
Daisy's Chain's around her feet. She fails to stand, she fails to speak. She lifts her head and cleanse her mind. Daisy's Chain is seldom kind. Daisy's chain's around her waist, June is here, lush, hurried and late. She stands with you in wind swept might. Daisy's Chain is tough to fight. Daisy's an indispensable animal, she says to be there in the end. Daisy's Chain around her tongue, from a time when she was young. The life and light and porous skin. Daisy's Chain is Daisy's twin. Daisy's Chain is broken now, she asks herself oh how, oh how, has so much time passed and I was grounded by chains but meant to fly.
3.
Danery 04:53
How can I be free when the universe is me, how can I do anything but laugh. Oh Danery goes, oh Danery. How can I even try to eat this apple. I'm older than the seeds of me. It takes me down around and out, I'm breathing. I breath every day the same. Sometimes it tastes like a little butter on the tongue, sometimes it tastes like bubblegum. Life is like that sometimes, you never know. Life is like that sometimes for us. Sometimes I'm an alien with others in control. Sometimes I'm the opposite of everything I want. I'm just like everybody really, tell myself 'bout 50 times a day. Danery goes home, yeah she takes me there, I never knew, how much she cared.
4.
Proper 03:56
There's a girl with a name, a strange name, its a name you've never heard, it's a name and its absurd. There's a girl on her way, who it is it's hard to say, well she looks quite familiar, but I just cant place her name. And I know she is nice and I know she is kind, but how can I love her if I don't know her (proper)noun. Some people, some great people, their achievements were unmatched, but their memory has detached. Despite their perfection and their generous inflection, when they're here they're downtrodden, when they're gone they're forgotten. And I know they were great and I know they were good, but how can we know them if we don't know their (proper)noun. Well maybe if I write it down, they'll induce a frown, but I'm never gonna remember it, cos I can't fuckin spell it. Some bands have names that are just so hard to say, but I'm never gonna remember them, so I'll just listen to the Beatles again I guess. And I know they'll be great and I know they'll be good, but how can we love 'em if we don't know their (proper)noun.
5.
Onion Eyes 04:17
There's a girl with shallot eyes, she follows you, she's in disguise. And it's not uncommon, Old Onion. When life begun there was sun, but now you're slipping to darkness, well that's not you. When you were young you were fun and you had more patience, well that's not true, just look at you, waiting for something, oh someone. Shallot knows your ways, to keep you sane, through the dying flame and it's not uncommon. Ashen trees n lakes n leaves and gargon bells and pointless wells. Gates n keys and garden peas and deep and low, where lava flows. You found him deep and low, his eyes were blind and his teeth were shown and it's not uncommon. There's a girl with Shallot Eyes, she followed you through the hollowed night, but you never noticed, Old Onion Eyes.
6.
Plans 01:24
There once was a man, with a thousand plans and he called my name every single day. He took my hand and he showed me what was possible and what was probable. And now we're the same, and that's ok, cos we speak our mind every single day. The man had a plan and I had a plan, we both had plans and back up plans. Til one fine morning, our lives settled down. Our ships ran aground.
7.
Deficient 04:36
Slice into my vein and you will say, deficient. Peer into my souls and you will know. Fall through my face and you will embrace. Look into my heart. What makes us who we are? Some line upon a graph? The colour of your scars? You know it's only love. Look inside my accounts and you will bounce. Look inside my house and you will denounce. Open up my fridge and you will flinch. Jump into my car. Too many times you looked at me, I looked at you and I knew. Girl, don't you now, how to hide your lies, how to hide from sight? Oh, what makes it so.
8.
Look into my eyes, I'm a rock to hold to, I'm a fire at night. Talkin' bout the angels floating above you, interested in nothin' but the shape of your soul. Sitting in the darkness it grinds up in you, it's pushing you until the end. Colours my mind with a millions shades of colours I've never even seen before. Days are all we have, and the nights are not ours. Looking at the sunset, through your bedroom window, sitting on your blanket, stroking your. I can't break through, the hands that are holding you.
9.
Best Laid 02:50
You work all day, you fight and you play for the strength to be what they need you to be. But the truth is hard, its harder to take that the strength you need is for yourself you see. Take care of the I, don't look to the sky, there's nobody there to ease your cares. Have heart, have smarts, rationale what you are, you just might be what you needed to be. Til one fine morning, your life settles down, you stand high and proud. Come home, feel love and comfort. Days are all we have and the nights are not for us.
10.
Funny old Julie sings in the playground, dances with Danny, in with the out crowd. I just walk oddly, think of them fondly, I used to love them. Now Julie's in MENSA , too smart to salsa, Danny's in preschool, teaching the prefools. Now. Wait. Taste. Norton was faulted, open and honest, flaunted the truth with a caustic and closed fist. Now Norton's gone inside, forced by the rip tide, dreams of life where drowned hearts are revived. Now, can you feel the weight, do you know the taste, do you know the wait. Bunny and Bovine, their love could have been mine. The cost of incompetence, the cost of hesitance. Lovely Pia, she was my first bride, pretty in blue dress, we were a success. Now Pia's a figment dancing and grinning through my cerebrum, I pray she's winning. He lived each day, as though it was last, his mind was fast, we loved him so. Now the King of Hail, his reign has ended, we'll never forget him, he's in our hearts. And he soars through the sky, with his choices in mind, he soars, yes he's soaring. Does a headstand, looks across his world, the sky looked like the ground from there. Yeah it's his time, he falls into the sky, his soul it takes flight and he's away.

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For Lily, Pete and Dale.

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released March 15, 2019

Written, performed, produced, mixed and mastered by James Pagliaro between 2017-2019.
Solo on Deficient written and performed by Daren Pagliaro.

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James Pagliaro Portsmouth, UK

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